Peasant loaf and poop soup

Peasant loaf and poop soup? say what? yep… you read that right.  it’s still cold here, because it’s winter, and New York City… so soup is on the menu, and my DH and his buddies keep requesting what’s now become known as “poop soup” not for the looks or tastes, mind you, but because it is awesomely detoxifying and jump starts your plumbing…. a nice big healthy TMI to not talk about on the internet with a bunch of strangers…

For the bread: WARNING – it takes FOREVER to make
2 cups almond flour
1/2 cup coconut flour
1/2 cup tapioca flour
1/2 teaspoon active dry yeast
1 teaspoon sea salt (you could prob use another 1/2 tsp, but I’m not a salt fan)
more almond flour for rolling it out and dusting

1) Combine the three flours, yeast and salt in a large bowl. Add 1 and 1/2 cups warm water and mix with your hands until it starts to get sticky, and well combined. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for half a day or so to get the flavors to really come out.

2) Take it out of the fridge and let it sit on the counter, covered, at room temperature for about 18 hours so the dough will rise.  After it gets rising it will start to bubble on top. Nothing’s going to explode (I don’t think!) – this just means you’ve not screwed it up and when you bake it, it will get fluffy like bread!

3) Dust a wood cutting board (or your counter!) with the extra almond flour. Flip the dough ball out onto the sprinkled work top and sprinkle some more flour on top. Now, we’ll pretend your dough ball is an origami project, and we’ll fold the top, bottom, left and right sides in to the center, squish slightly, and flip the whole thing over, now it’s pretty and looks like a bread loaf… sort of…

4) Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and dust with more almond flour. Transfer the bread to be to the baking sheet, folds down, and sprinkle with some MORE almond flour. Cover with a cotton dish towel and let rise at room temp until this sucker doubles in size, like, 2 to 3 hours. I told you it takes forever….

5) Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F for at least 30 minutes, and put an empty 4 qt dutch oven in it (you’ll put the bread in there, but let’s warm it WAY up first!). When the dough has doubled, VERY CAREFULLY, take the hot pot out of the oven and place on a trivet or stove top (don’t burn or get burned!), take the towel off the the dough, lift up the parchment paper and quickly flip the dough into the pot (use pot holders to shake the pot to wiggle the dough to the center, unless you’re magic and it just goes there on its own, hi five for you and your magnificence!). First, cover with the lid and bake 30 minutes, then uncover and bake another 15-30 minutes or so until brown and crusty.  Remove from the pot and heat, and let cool.  Worth it… mostly… I would def devour it in a second if it didn’t take SO LONG to make… but then again, I think all bread takes forever to make, I’m just not much of a bread maker… I’m sure I’ll come up with an easier version at some point, because… bread. and time…. one I don’t have enough of, the other I want more of…

 

For the POOP SOUP: Don’t worry, this is SUPER easy, and you can forget about it… almost, don’t burn the house down!

1 shallot, minced
3 cloves garlic, minced
3 TB olive oil
3 carrots, sliced in coins
3 zucchini, sliced in coins and quartered
3 yellow squash, sliced in coins and quartered
3 parsnips, sliced in coins and quartered
1 pint portobello mushroom slices
3 sprigs green onion, chopped
1/4 cup parsley, chopped
1 tsp onion granules
1 tsp garlic granules
1/2 tsp himalayan pink sea salt
1/2 tsp cracked black pepper
1/4 cup cilantro, chopped
1 lime, juiced
1 avocado, chopped

1) in your big soup making pot, heat the garlic and shallots in the olive oil.  When it starts to brown, add EVERYTHING BUT the cilantro, avocado and lime.  Fill the pot with water, about 3 inches from the top, and put a lid on it. Bring to a boil, then let simmer for 30 minutes – or throw it all in a crock pot on low for a day.

2) when it’s time to serve: throw in the cilantro, lime and avocado, stir, so it all gets nicely warmed up, then pour into bowls.  SO. FREAKING. YUM.

 

I may spend all my money on ingredients but HEALTH is the true wealth… and that I have! NOMaste lovelies!

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